Thinker's Chronicle

Netflix’s Baby Reindeer: A Profound Look Into the Effects of Stalking & Abuse

If someone told you that a comedian produced and starred in a show called Baby Reindeer, what would your reaction be? Due to its inconspicuous title and background, you wouldn’t be wrong to assume that it was a show akin to perhaps Seinfeld, poking fun at the absurdities of daily life activities. In reality, the core of the series is grim and melancholic, tackling dark subject matter. Baby Reindeer succeeds in being an empathetic yet realistic view on the outcomes of stalking, along with exploring the path to self-forgiveness in the mindset of a victim.

In the beginning, the writing makes it clear that comedy is not the inherent focus or scope of the show. Is there a reason behind this? Maybe it’s because it is autobiographical, and begins when Richard Gadd, the creator, is a struggling comedian doing part-time work as a bartender. Could it also be because he is looking humbly at his own comedic ability? In the first few shows, it is quite easy to see why Donny Dunn, the character who is based off of Richard, is not hitting off. His jokes come off as too rapid initially, with his anxiety making him fumble, and insufficient props hampering his performance. Whether Richard or Donny is being modest or not is left to interpretation, but as the first episode progresses, it is coherent to see why the show is structured the way it is.


One day, a demure Donny sees a crying, sheepish woman sitting at the bar. Out of kindness, he gives her a Coca-Cola on the house, unknowingly sparking a string of harmful events that would last year. Martha is the woman’s name, and she is based off of the real stalker that Richard had to deal with. One of the things the script does marvelously is slowly unraveling the red flags of her behavior before depicting tense situations that come as a result. Despite barely knowing him, she later comes by the bar everyday and engages in meaningless conversation with him, later planning a picnic and buying expensive items without caring for his approval. What is even more concerning is Donny’s lack of confidence and self-preservation. Even as all her red flags pile up, his peaceful ways means that he doesn’t report her to the police, and is kind to her despite how harmful she is. 

This encapsulates another crux of the story: Donny’s insecurities. The series does a wonderful job portraying how Donny’s low sense of self-worth perpetuates in him excusing or dismissing Martha’s behavior, which eventually leads to full-blown stalking, bullying, and sexual abuse. The effort to humanize Donny shows that despite making mistakes, he is still a victim who endured great anguish, which is even more heartbreaking once learning about the heartbreaking trauma he faced before he met Martha. This level of empathy is extended to his stalker, as key to comprehending why she does what she has. Once Martha has left him millions of bitter, horrifying voicemails, he manages to find one where she explains the childhood trauma she experienced at home. However, the pain that she caused is not given any excuse, especially when we see her harass individuals in Donny’s life, and as an audience find out that she has done this in the past.

Photo Credits: IMDb

Speaking of others, those closest to Donny help capture how lack of accountability can lead to stunted growth. For the first time, Donny starts feeling alive again when he starts dating Teri, a trans woman who works as a therapist. His docility and cowardice eventually leads to the disintegration of their relationship, once he forces her to be more covert about her sexuality and after Martha physically attacks her. Another great example is with Keeley and her mother Liz. Though Keeley and Donny had an awful breakup, she allows him to live with Liz as he navigates his living situation in London. Liz is incredibly kind to him, and Keeley is very forgiving, but once Martha starts harassing them both, Donny has no choice but to leave after his previous failures to take action. Perhaps one of the most heartwarming moments in the show takes place between Donny and his father. When he finally opens about what he went through before the stalking incidents, his father shares that we went through something similar. As the both of them hug, we as an audience are reminded that one, we aren’t as alone as we think, and two, letting others know our struggles can be a vital part of the healing process.

There is a breathtakingly sad moment when Donny is performing stand-up and breaks down on the stage, after holding in his emotions for so long. In his monologue, he exquisitely describes how self-hatred ruined his relationships, since the one thing he loved more than Teri was hating himself. Audiences felt very seen in this monologue, especially those who had suffered from trauma or depression. One of the reasons why Richard Gadd’s series is so well-executed is because of his authenticity and willingness to deep dive psychologically. Every single event that occurred is based off of his own stalking-related trauma, so his acting feels incredibly visceral as he relives through his turmoil. Genuineness is what enables the show to delve into not only what harm stalking causes, but also how trauma shapes our self-esteem and ability to react healthily to negative situations. Richard’s creation is so ingenious because it tears down the societal ideas that victims become stronger after dealing with hardships. Before Martha stalked him, the ordeal he suffered from ended up damaging his self-esteem greatly, and made him do terrible things at the cost of others’ happiness and safety.

Finally, Baby Reindeer analyzes an issue that is often overlooked in media- male sexual abuse. Once Donny and his father hug, we are able to see the detrimental effects of masculine standards on both parties. Additionally, the series breaks the standard that men must be strong in overcoming these obstacles, or that they must handle it differently than women, who are seen as more emotionally vulnerable. These sexist ideals only allow for Donny and men like him to adapt with negative coping behaviors, because trauma is not something that people can forget or push away, regardless of gender. Despite what someone’s identification is, the show asserts that societally, we should push away from gender-related emotional expression, because trauma isn’t what makes us stronger, but our ability to introspect, be forthcoming, and persevere.

Richard Gadd is now a successful comedian, but his honesty and acting within this storyline cements him as a multi-talented individual who is able to tackle deep subjects. Moreover, the cast’s work is also awe-inspiring, with Jessica Gunning giving an Emmy-worthy performance as Martha, and Nava Mau adding dimension to her character Teri. Due to its compassionate and realistic scope of its subject matter, it’s no wonder that Netflix’s Baby Reindeer has received such high acclaim, and I highly recommend that you watch it to see the masterful work yourself.

Arshia Manoj