Here it is. Another storm has come
I huddled near one of the corners at the head of the bed to lean my head against the wall
I brought my knees closer to my head
I buried my face and closed my eyes shut
I plugged in my airpods and started playing my music to block off the sound
Every time I heard of an intense rustling, a rumbling thud, or a loud noise of any sort echoing
I would try my best to concentrate on my music or what I was doing
I was used to this
Life is funny that way isn’t it?
It became a habit for me whenever these things happen
However, it doesn’t deteriorate my intense paralysis
Because whenever a loud unsuspecting noise occurs
It never fails to send shock and chills down my spine
The adrenaline and fear of what would happen if I made the wrong move
I always became terrified of what the result would be
What will happen this time?
Would this be the end of everything?
Could it be possible for me to manage to get some food or water without getting caught?
Questions I would constantly ask myself, yet never wanted to be answered
Because I would fear the worst that the very answer would petrify me
That it could be hell for me if I were to even ask these questions
It is a miracle that I survived, even if I got caught just a couple of times
I always remained silent, even though every second I wanted to scream my lungs out
When I get the chance, I would retreat into what I considered a sanctuary for myself
It wasn’t exactly a safe haven, but it was good enough for me because I at least felt safer there
Safe enough to finally catch my breath
I would feel relieved, however a sickly shameful feeling still lingers
What’s worse is usually the storm’s intensity would increase after my retreat
